Everything you need to know about me can be deduced from the above photo
– immense pain tolerance
– propensity for launching into colorful stories with implausible premises
– besieged by imaginary cakes and well wishers at all times
– owns zero shirts of appropriate size
– lives in brush pile behind red brick house
In event of further query feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org or hit me up on Twitter
@AJValliant and I’ll add your question to our FAQ. And answer it. Possibly with lies.