TABLE OF CONTENTS

TERRIBLE MONSTERS

The Cherubim

The Wulver

The Sphinx

The Alp

The Minotaur

Baba Yaga

The Selkie

Bigfoot

Banshee

Tales From My Vasectomy

Tales from my vasectomy part one: A.J. Turns the nurse against him

Tales from my Vasectomy part two: The preparation

Tales from my vasectomy: The Procedure

Concluded in part 4: The aftermath

Serial Fiction

Isaac The Ineffable

Act One

Part Ten: Epilogue 

 Part Nine

Part 8

Part seven

Part Six

Part Five

Part 4

Part Three

Part Two

Part One

Act Two

Chapter One: May’s new job

Lesson from a  Fantasy Princess

Lessons from a Fantasy Princess: Snow White

Lessons from a Fantasy Princess: The Little Mermaid

Lessons From a Disney Princess: Sleeping Beauty

MY KIDS STUPID QUESTIONS

My Kids stupid questions? Who is Santa’s Boss?

My Kids Stupid Questions: Monsters under the bed

Ask Sam: My kid’s stupid questions Toothfairy

ASK SAM

ASK SAM: Lessons from Tim, the Kindergarten Terrorist

Ask Sam: What is up with the Illuminati?

“In defense of Ray Rice: A terrible drunken Mistake”

Ask Sam: What should I say in a job interview?

Ask Sam: Married at First Sight

Murder In Riverdale: An Expose, Part 1

Murder In Riverdale: An Expose, Part 2

REVIEWS

 Proof: A chronicle of a day spent drinking rotgut for art

 Iscotch review

 Behind the Curve: Which brings us to Yeezus

Retroactive Book Reviews From My childhood.

I Finally Finished The Wheel of Time

REAL DAMN LETTERS

Letter Day: Shadows of the Past

Letter Day: Why can’t we be friends?

Letter Day: Questions of Literacy and Animal Interns

Real Damn Letters: Poetry On Demand

 Real Damn Letters: Pornography and the creative process

 Letter Day: The first

PROSE

The Wrong Lesson

Old Man Valliant

The Company you keep

A Momentary Kingdom

I was literally raped… for an hour, by a twelve year old camper.

Lifting heavy things short distances

Talking at Strangers

Essentially Forty

Steers, Queers, and Irrational fears: Texas’ gay problem

I was literally raped… for an hour, by a twelve year old camper.

So I fought this albino once (a shameful true story)

Public Spaces

My new office

 The world all at once

 The first thing about slavery

 I suppose Murder is legal then

 Response to a tragedy

A World Without Google

The Children I do not have

 

From the Vault

AJ Valliant Arbitrarily Ranks: Nations that broke my heart

From the Vault: Happening/Ain’t Happening

ASSESSMENT SCALES

 Rob Ford Transgression Scale

 Ignominious death scale

  Shame Scale

 Irony Scale

Disturbing Life Updates

You had one job!

Twice a coincidence, three times a conspiracy

 @AJValliant

 The Other A.J. Valliant: Cease and desist

 And now what?

  Careless Whispers

 Sam the turtle

 

Media

Part Two of the suddenly retrospective Oscar Preview

Oscar Drive By Blowout: Part 1

 Chris Brown:Try a little tenderness

 Infectious Smile Dating Service

 Sally and I on the radio

 

Short Stories

The Streets of Old Laredo: Complete

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s