Following a long standing policy of early adoption I’ve gotten on twitter. Well, I technically got on it two years ago when I signed up, but today was my first update. Somehow I already had six followers. I was initially humbled by their patience. Ten minutes and six posts later I feel  deeply slighted by the sparseness of my audience and their stubborn unwillingness to be more people. There is a dizzyingly short reward cycle to this medium.

The countdown for my inevitable first racist/sexist/liable remark, and attendant public apology, has begun. Smart odds currently have it at six days; the number comes off the board once regular season NBA start. I’ve been doing push ups between feed checks in preparation for my first shirtless selfie. Tomorrow I stock up on chest wax and purchase a digital camera…maybe swing by Bed, Bath & Beyond to pickup some tasteful pot lights to give  the old mug a more forgiving soft focus. Why didn’t they have this when I was twenty. Good times.