Continued from Part 1: Soulmates and Self Help
Who should I date?
This question is fair but useless. You should date someone compatible, but that is a slippy metric that changes over time. Imagine a restaurant where they will craft your ideal sandwich, but you have to specify the ingredients and preparation. You might stutter out a workable combination, but you would be filled with doubt, and the dread of missed opportunity would haunt your meal. But if the waiter asked if he should spit in your water, or fart in your dates face, your answer would be immediate and authoritative. We understand the generalities of the things that we like, and the specifics of the things that we do not. People are more complicated than sandwiches, so it helps to lay out a few disqualifying factors to weed the undateables out of the field early.
Do they need a job? What level of hygiene is acceptable? Will they correct peoples grammar at parties? Do they have ferrets? The specifics of the undateables are going to vary from person to person, but there are some red flags you should at least consider.
Are they bartenders, actors, or lead guitarists/singers in a band?
Do they Roll their eyes and sigh when they disagree with people?
Have they recently exited a serious relationship?
Are they are currently in a serious relationship?
Are they indecisive, yet consistently critical of other peoples decisions?
Do they only have friends of the opposite gender?
Do they only have friends of the same gender?
Do they have friends?
Do they frequently complain of “Drama” that they cannot escape, yet have no culpability in creating?
When they are upset does it become everyone else’s problem?