I do not have children, but I have answers. As a public service I have decided to dig into the backlog of questions that my friends are too exhausted to answer, and fill the gaps in their children’s knowledge . Each parent emailed me a list of queries and promised to read my response to their children in full, without editorial interference. I do not believe in speaking down to children, so some of the terms and concepts may go over their heads, but I’m confident that the essential truth will make its way through.
Why does Santa care if children are good or bad? I know it’s magic and that’s why he knows everything and can bring stuff everywhere, but why spy on everyone and then bring a toy to the good ones? What does he get out of it? If it’s his job then who is his boss?
Micheal, age 11
I tried googling an answer but I found mostly self published erotic fiction. I’d direct you to the novella to suss out any hidden information but I feel like I am already skirting the edge of several child protection laws. So, while I am bit light on primary sources, I can at least lay out what we don’t know and work backward from there:
What is the standard for Good vs Bad? Are we to assume a binary pass fail condition, or a threshold system where-in one needs to stay below a certain level of cumulative infraction?