31 Thursday May 2018
Posted in Prose, Real Life Report
I’ve been doing a lot of night hammocking lately. There are assumptions made of a man swaying in a hammock past midnight. It’s arbitrary, but I get it. I once saw a lady hang a row of wet doll clothes on a line at 10pm and I almost called the cops. Where are those dolls going that it can’t wait until morning?
10 Monday Jul 2017
Posted in Real Life Report, Troubling true stories
When I was 6 years old I was made King of my class. There was a coronation with a paper crown and kind words from the teacher. It was not explained why I had been made King [1], but I had engaged so rarely with the class that I couldn’t rule out some forgotten claim to a monarchy that had existed unnoticed around me. On some level it felt earned. Continue reading
10 Monday Apr 2017
Posted in ask sam, Political Satire, Real Life Report
General Information
Title : Viscount
Family Name : Valliant
First Name: Allan Jason George
Are you known by any other names or aliases ? (optional*): Pistachio, Frambojan, Creepy Mexican Guy on a bike, Ahmed Jamal, Alejandro Jesus, Richard Vanion, Slap Dandy, Buttons Delacroix, Robert Elliot, Scrote Totem, Da Realest.
Date of Birth: June 25 1976
City of birth : Ottawa
Country of birth : Canada
Gender : Male
Marital status: Essential married. I could leave town if I wanted to, but I feel like we’ve been together long enough that it should count.
Details about your health and your character
8th Level Personal Trainer
STR: 14 INT:15 WIS:4 DEX:11 CON:13 CHR:15
HP: 45
24 Wednesday Jul 2013
Posted in Real Life Report
There is another A.J. Valliant. Properly Irish. Technically a musician. And apparently quite litigious. A while back I mentioned him in passing in a facebook post.
” I am now the proud owner of AJVALLIANT.com. Take that Albino Irish soul singer A.J. that’s always trying to steal my glory”
You see previously his myspace page would come up first when I googled my own name. With the founding of AJVALLIANT.com I returned to my rightful place at the top of the pile and considered the matter forgotten. Ah, but not so fast much-loved Canadian A.J. Valliant. You see today I checked the Other folder in facebook messages and found a communiqué that had lain fallow since Jan 7th{1]. It went as follows
“Hiya, I am the Albino Irish Singer, you have been insulting on your facebook Timeline. I have been in Equity, which is a union for performers, for 20 years. I feel that you are stating rubbish when you say to the general public, that I have pinched your name. To avoid legal proceedings, I would advise you to cease your tirade on faceboook, concerning my name. Ps. I am not an Albino. I look forward to hearing from yourself, within the near future”
