*The following is a true account of an attempted meal purchase that drove me close to madness

I wanted soup and a Cajun chicken sandwich. Tim Hortons was my sole option. I had fifteen minutes before my next client.

 “Could I get a chicken soup and a Cajun Chicken sandwich?” I asked.

There was likely a please, but I’m retroactively withdrawing it.

“We don’t have that.” Said the cashier.

“You don’t have either or both?” I said.

“What?” he said.

I had used two of my fifteen minutes and we were stalled at the simplest part.

“Do you have chicken noodle soup? Also, do you have Cajun chicken sandwiches? If so, I would like one of each.” I said.

The cashier looked helplessly at the bread behind him.

“We have soup, but I don’t know what a Cajun chicken sandwich is.” He said.

It seemed obvious from context, but I pointed over his shoulder at the prominent Cajun Chicken sandwich advertisement.

“The thing on the board behind you. Probably saw it when you walked it.” I said.

I should have been more understanding but I was down to ten minutes. The cashier turned, stared at the board that had somehow been silently assembled behind him, mid shift, and responded.

 “Yeah, I don’t think we have those.”

I found this difficult.

“So you’re telling me that your company went through the time, and expense, to make an advertisement for sandwich that does not exist?” I said.

The cashier looked at the board, opened a few containers at random, and then shrugged.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t think we have those” He said.

I had eight minutes and no recourse, so I left without food or further comment.