There is a game of sorts that my friends and I play: someone offers up a mildly offensive idea, another elaborates in an amusing fashion, and then someone takes it way too far and we are all forced to create as much distance from the original line of inquiry as possible. There is a distinct tipping point where an uncomfortable idea transforms into an abhorrent one. In an effort to spare you, our beloved readers, from the social censure we shall examine the spectrum of acceptability is various avenues to help to set your own line of decency. For each category of social interaction we assign a color coded designation
Fine, I suppose: Perhaps risque, but clearly within the boundaries of baseline decency
Borderline: You need a charitable audience to let this pass without comment A step too Far: I would absolutely laugh, but you are going lose friends.
Category | Fine, I suppose. | Borderline | A step too far |
Suggestive military ranks | Rear Admiral | Cock Swain | Frigadaire General |
Feminine based products | Lady Milk | La Femme Burritos | OBG-Wine |
Bonding with inanimate objects | Pets rocks | Adopting stretches of Highway | Marrying the persistently vegetative |
Foreboding baby names | Buster | Having Lee as any part of a compound name | Rapetholomew |
Vaguely racist toy ideas | Magic Sand | Watermelon patch kids | Rockem’ Sockum’ Jewbots |
Awkward places to have a Romantic Anniversary dinner | Columbine High Cafeteria | Ground Zero gift shop: order humus and shawarma platter | Crawlspace of ex girlfriends’ apartment. |
Suggestive Band names | The Kinks | The Strokes | Vas Difference’ |
True, but painful, career advice for a friend | Firemen have to be able to do more than one pushup | You’re too ugly to be a clown | How could you be a policeman when you couldn’t keep yourself from being molested? |
Mood killing euphemism for a spouses genitalia | Slamgina | Buttered velvet wallet | The orifice for which circumstances have forced me to settle |
Acceptable topics of discussion while babysitting | How no one really won Vietnam | How Strangers are just parents you haven’t met yet | The Hidden meaning of mommies’ low back tattoo of a butterfly getting double teamed by two black guys. |
Greaat post
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