This morning I found a hand written note slipped through my mail slot. There was no business card attached, just a heavily markered, foot long, strip of paper torn from a child’s school project.

 Our house isn’t for sale, so this isn’t an offer, it’s a confession. The all caps red gives the implication of consequences if denied. How long have they wanted it, and what drove them to finally act? I want to do a lot of things, to a lot of people, but I don’t leave hand printed notes in their foyer. There are layers here. Let’s go deeper.

 Observe that it is an I, not a We, so the WANT is singular. Though they do say call “us”, and have a website…******HouseBuyer.***, so there must be other people involved, but just one Buyer. What do the other people do? And why don’t they want my house? They don’t have a printer, photocopier, or third color of marker… so their office setup must be minimal. I guess someone has to answer the phone while the main creep slips notes under doors, but the flyer gives the impression that other, less invested, parties will eventually be involved in the negotiation.

  This feels like a setup for a Good Realtor/Bad Realtor situation, where one guy keeps flying off the handle and telling me I have the ugliest house on the block, while the other calms his partner down and offers me cigarettes. They are not guarantying an amount, just that the offer will be in cash. Nothing leads me to believe that they have a lot of cash on hand, but I guess their thriftiness could be keeping them liquid. Aren’t all house sold for cash? We’ve been out of barter economy for quite some time, but I’m not current with the markets. Could this be a fence for stolen houses? Buy them cheap and sell them for parts?

The logistic are difficult to pin down. I might have to pass. I did get an interesting rock thrown through my window by a landscaping company, so maybe I will check that out instead.