Monthly Archives: November 2013

Real Damn Letters: Pornography and the creative process

26 Tuesday Nov 2013

Posted by in Letters

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 Do you feel that internet pornography is destructive to the creative process?

  David K.

  I can’t remember the last time that I jerked off to a still photo. There was a day when I could bust one out to crudely drawn sketches of someone else looking at a sears catalogue. What happened to my imagination? And to the willingness of creepy strangers to hand draw recursive pornography for me? These are minor issues.

A much bigger problem is the hours I’ve lost to adorable animal GIFs. Porn has a fairly limited appeal, with a fast tracked fascination/disillusionment cycle. Grim, but time efficient.

You can’t jerk the charm out of a rabbit in a bowtie falling down some stairs. There is no point of satiety. My eyes could be bleeding from hours on buzzfeed and if someone presented me a video of a mouse dressed up like a Jockey, riding a turtle dressed up like a different kind of jockey, of course I’m going to watch it. This is a real problem.

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Proof: A chronicle of a day spent drinking rotgut for art

24 Sunday Nov 2013

Posted by in Reviews

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proof whisky

My friend Simon asked me to write a tasting review for iscotch. As a lark I asked to review the worst, nastiest, rotgut hooch that could lay claim to the whiskey name. He obliged.

Click here For my iscotch Review

In a moment of even deeper folly I decided to drink the whole bottle early Saturday afternoon, when I have a work Christmas party at 7pm, and to keep a journal chronicling my descent, drink by drink.

Journal:

Drink one:

I’ve only just opened the bottle and the bar music from “Leaving Los Vegas” is playing in my head. I feel such a strong connection with Nic Cage that I’m sure the teachings of Scientology could have kept me from this foolhardy course of action.

The bouquet smells like a fresh suicide note written in dry erase marker. The booze at least makes a pleasant burbling noise when poured.

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From the Vault: Happening/Ain’t Happening

09 Saturday Nov 2013

Posted by in Uncategorized

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ganesh3

 The only thing worse than a nostalgic narcissist is a nostalgic narcissist with internet access and a back catalogue. Of all the features from the old site this was the hardest to explain in person. Essentially it was a list of things that I considered Happening juxtaposed by a tangentially related thing that was Not Happening. Of everything I wrote these were the surrealist and most reflective of my personal sense of humor. Taste may vary.

Let’s nostalgia together:

hapolder Continue reading →

The world all at once

06 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by in Prose

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I do not have a cell phone. I used to have a burner but they took away my number because I left it in a drawer and then forgot. While I didn’t miss the phone I liked that number, and the idea that I couldn’t meet a standard of care drug dealers, dead beat dads, and escapes cons manage was troubling. I called Telus from a land line and asked if I could trade in my phone for just the number. I’d rather a soul than a corpse. They tried to sell me an I-Phone with a three year plan. I told them I couldn’t own something more ambitious than me and besides I did have a credit card. They said I lacked essential numbers and suggested I get my life in order. Continue reading →