In what I can only assume was a systematic breakdown of their vetting process, the WordPress editors have selected my blog as something fancy that people should read. Don’t get me wrong, I dig my stuff and genuinely appreciate the gesture, but the third post contains a discussion of a Chimps ability to shoot heroin and potentially perform fellatio as a means of copping gear. This was all in the context of advice I was giving….to a child. I probably shouldn’t be allowed to walk the streets, let alone have company.

I’ve lost the capacity to self monitor. I’m the blogging equivalent of the weird uncle that argues about literature in the grocery store line, does pushups at a backyard BBQ, and will absolutely show you pictures of his first wife’s tits if you catch him three beers in. I am a highly skilled personal trainer who has never once written about exercise! You can’t reward that kind of obstructive behavior.

I considered tucking the worst stuff away, tossed under the bed like an ill used sock or vintage pornography stolen from a neighbors tree fort, but I’ll be dammed if I’ll tidy up for company. So to those coming into things cold: there is a range of tone and theme and  decency, much of it is satirical and some a genuine expression of a belief system cobbled together from pulp magazines, lies, and dark whispers in the night. Be forewarned.