• About
  • TABLE OF CONTENTS

Flawed But Fixable

Flawed But Fixable

Author Archives: A.J. Valliant

Musically and otherwise

28 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

buffalo-bill-o

I am unsure that manly ennui is a thing, but mulling over career prospects and time of life bullshit with Adele playing in the background suggests the opposite as a distinct possibility. A man shouldn’t feel plucky and wronged at the same time; two bars into Chasing Pavement having a good cry and putting on fresh lipstick seems less Buffalo Bill and more legitimate coping strategy. I can’t tell if I’m burning with wrath or if it’s just hot flashes from the estrogen surge. Time to hit shuffle. Musically and otherwise.

Irony Scale

18 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Assessment Scale

≈ 4 Comments

hotslutgrumpycat2

At some point clarity lost its legitimacy to subtlety, and ironic disaffection and apathy became the cultural currency of the hip. Never having been hip, or subtle, it is hard to say when which gave way to what (which actually is hard to say), but the end result was irony becoming the key social moderator. About the same time reading became not so popular, which is a bit of problem when your locus of cool is a fairly slippery esoteric concept. What are the retro clad and bearded masses to do?

In an effort to keep the smug barista and spoken word poetry industry from grinding to a halt Beats Entropy is going to drop a little knowledge.

Let us define our terms:

Irony= when the result of an action is contrary to the desired or expected effect or contrary to some intrinsic quality (real or inferred).

Things entirely devoid of irony

It gets dark at night

Surrender is a word of French extraction.

Ugly people are often sad

Now I could get all fancy and suss out all the gradations of irony through a series of complex logical syllogisms, but we both know that sort of academic hokum proves nothing. The only legitimate method of exploring such a topic is a peer reviewed, toast backed, scale from 1-20. Let’s get down to business.

Continue reading →

Careless Whispers

11 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

door

I was going to post a facebook comment about the suspension of disbelief necessary to watch random mid-day pornography. I had gotten as far as typing “Where would a twelve year old runaway get the money for a boob job” [1] into my status bar before considering that this made it seem like I’m really into child pornography. I then tried to work in an explanation on how the twelve year old in question was actually a dead eyed twenty seven year old in pigtails and footy pajamas in the back alley behind a Denny’s, when a status update from my pre-teen niece popped up into my newsfeed. Her friend got braces and they look nice. A moment of clarity and flurry of unfriending ensued.

Continue reading →

The Streets of Old Laredo: Complete

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Gunslinger-1

 

*This was the first story I ever wrote for public consumption. I originally put it out on my old site chapter by chapter with the idea of matching the style of an old radio serial. It almost immediately went from pulp western to absurdist humor. The craft is pretty shaky, but there is an energy and randomness that I still dig a decade later. It is uncompromisingly my internal sense of humor, so it’s pretty polarizing, but it is still the most fun I’ve ever had writing something.*

Continue reading →

I Finally Finished The Wheel of Time

04 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Reviews

≈ Leave a comment

Wheel-of-Time

I started the books twenty years ago because I was bored. I’m still bored, but I’ve finally finished the damn story. The millennium passed, the author died, and I started getting laid and still the books continued. Given the four million words the series has had to make it’s case I hesitate to add more to the pile, yet surely patience pays some wage?

Continue reading →

Chris Brown:Try a little tenderness

25 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Uncategorized

≈ 3 Comments

It is rare that something can offend me on so many levels that I just start laughing. I was searching for the original and this came up, before it.  My brain exploded, I was barraged  by so many simultaneous violations of taste and decency it felt like I was playing five hole at a gang bang.  This is akin to David Duke doing a heartfelt cover of “A change Gonna Come“.  Chris Brown must undergo daily medical procedures to have every drop of irony and self awareness drained from his bones. Continue reading →

← Older posts
Newer posts →

Recent Posts

  •  The Future Mayor of Athens, Ohio
  • A question of taste.
  • Terrible Monsters of the World: The Wendigo
  • Death, defecation and unwanted prizes
  • Isaac The Ineffable: Act 2, Chapter One: May’s new job

Recent Comments

Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Terrible Monsters: Baba Y…
Unknown's avatarAnonymous on Terrible Monsters: Baba Y…
helblehayvin1997's avatarhelblehayvin1997 on A question of taste.
Hector Matav's avatarHector Matav on The Company You Keep
Variations Citoyennes's avatarVariations Citoyenne… on Tales from my vasectomy, part…

Archives

Top Posts & Pages

  • Lessons from a Fantasy Princess: The Little Mermaid
    Lessons from a Fantasy Princess: The Little Mermaid
  • So I fought this albino once (a shameful true story)
    So I fought this albino once (a shameful true story)
  • About
    About
  • Terrible Monsters: The Cherubim
    Terrible Monsters: The Cherubim
  • Essentially Forty
    Essentially Forty
Follow Flawed But Fixable on WordPress.com
Follow Flawed But Fixable on WordPress.com

Categories

  • ask sam
  • Assessment Scale
  • Expose
  • Fatansy princess
  • Letters
  • Poetry
  • Political Satire
  • Prose
  • Real Life Report
  • Reviews
  • Terrible Monsters
  • Troubling true stories
  • Uncategorized

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Flawed But Fixable
    • Join 1,010 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Flawed But Fixable
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...