• About
  • TABLE OF CONTENTS

Flawed But Fixable

Flawed But Fixable

Tag Archives: folklore

Terrible Monsters: The Minotaur

18 Thursday Dec 2014

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Terrible Monsters

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

folklore, satire

Overview

* It is important to understand the relationship between that of the Greek gods and their worshipers was less unknowable maker and subject, and more coked up frat boy and passed out fraternity pledge. If you wronged them you they might not strike you down, but you’d waken to the divine equivalent of dicks drawn on your face and carrots shoved up your ass. I say this not to damn them, but to assure you that the more depraved bits of this myths are taken straight from the text and not the product of exaggeration on my part.*

THE MINOTAUR

stencilmino

It was the olden days in Crete and there was a succession crisis brewing. As was the custom at the time, the tentative king, Minos, prayed to the gods to send some omen blessing the rightness of his claim. Poseidon, in a rare generous mood, sent a majestic white bull bursting forth from the sea foam, with the understanding that Minos would sacrifice it to commemorate his ascension to the throne.

Europa-And-The-Bull,-1650

Minos, ungrateful dick that he was, decided to unilaterally alter the terms of the contract, figuring he could keep the White Bull and sacrifice a scrub one from his herd in its place. I should mention that Crete was an Island kingdom and Poseidon was the god of the sea. Or, at least, someone should have mentioned it, as Minos seemed bizarrely confident that double crossing a vengeful deity with sway over two thirds of the Earth was an ace move that couldn’t possibly backfire.

 7970Poseidon_statue Continue reading →

Terrible Monsters: Baba Yaga

25 Wednesday Jun 2014

Posted by A.J. Valliant in Terrible Monsters

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

folklore, monsters, myth, satire, sociolgy

 

BabaYaga2

In our first examination of the terrible monsters of the world we sought to process the horrors of Insipid Sea Monsters, Foreboding Fae, and Goat Sucking cryptids. Each legend contained the vested fear, doubt, and thwarted values of the unwashed masses of each nation. Our deconstruction proved highly informative, and potentially libelous, but very little fear was evoked by the tepid collection of would be nightmares. Disappointing.

Still, our pursuit is too noble to be dissuaded by poor early returns. One simply needs reach into the psyche of more troubled nations. Let us begin, Round 2!

Baba Yaga

 hut

Overview:

Baba Yaga, purloiner of children, devourer of men, the iron toothed witch that stalked the forests of pre Czarist Russia with the brutality of a slavic nightmare and the absurdity of a Monty Python animated short. Generations of careless children and foolish men wandered into the demonic crones clutches, driven into the woods by the promise of delicious pine sap and a reprieve from long depressing stories that go nowhere. No riddle, secret name, or act of kindness would stay her predation, her only game was hunger….and to play was to die.

Continue reading →

Recent Posts

  • Isaac The Ineffable: Part Four
  • Isaac The Ineffable: Part Three
  • Isaac The Ineffable: Part Two
  • Isaac The Ineffable: Part One
  • Serialized Weekly Fiction

Recent Comments

Isaac The Ineffable:… on Isaac The Ineffable: Part…
Isaac The Ineffable:… on Isaac The Ineffable: Part…
Isaac The Ineffable:… on Isaac The Ineffable: Part…
Isaac The Ineffable:… on Isaac The Ineffable: Part…
Isaac The Ineffable:… on Isaac The Ineffable: Part…

Archives

Top Posts & Pages

  • Terrible Monsters: The Alp
    Terrible Monsters: The Alp
  • Isaac The Ineffable: Part Four
    Isaac The Ineffable: Part Four
Follow Flawed But Fixable on WordPress.com
Follow Flawed But Fixable on WordPress.com

Categories

  • ask sam
  • Assessment Scale
  • Expose
  • Fatansy princess
  • Letters
  • Poetry
  • Political Satire
  • Prose
  • Real Life Report
  • Reviews
  • Terrible Monsters
  • Troubling true stories
  • Uncategorized

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Follow Following
    • Flawed But Fixable
    • Join 1,425 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Flawed But Fixable
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...